Olympics News hot of the press:
There was a danger that our world-class American athletes competing in the 2024 Summer Games from Paris might not have air-conditioning.
No one loves the “good ol’ days” more than me. AM radio and Tammy Wynette. Screen doors. Front porches. Movies with dialogue. The only travel ball was in the major leagues.
Old days were the best — EXCEPT for automatic banking, streaming channels, and air-conditioning. And the leadoff hitter of those three is AC.
Has to be. Game-changer.
So why no AC in Paris at the Olympics?
If you are an American who enjoys, even celebrates, seeing our country win at anything, and if you are an American who is spoiled rotten when it comes to air-conditioning, this less-than-thrilling and less-than-chilling news that our athletes might have to sleep in a France toaster is enough to make you break out in a cold sweat.
Or a hot sweat. (Sometimes I get my sweats confused.)
The Games open today with football (we call it soccer), rugby sevens (no idea), handball (some idea but not really), archery (some idea: cowboy movies when I was little), shooting (pretty good idea, unfortunately, since I can read a newspaper), and Friday, FINALLY, the Opening Ceremony and badminton (some idea: church camp) and rowing (some idea: fishing).
If you miss the start, not an issue. We still have two wonderful weeks of swimming, diving, fencing, gymnasticsing, boxing, taekwondoing, cycling, weightlifting, pentathloning, “modern” pentathloning, basketballing, canoe sprinting (what the …?), sport climbing, running, jumping, and watching Coca-Cola and Visa commercials.
And, if the Americans are lucky, sleeping between winning golds.
Sleeping during a period of competition is no side chick or fling. Sleeping is part of who brought you to the party. Sleeping is your Main Thang. Gotta sleep.
This notion escaped the French.
They’d decided years ago that these Games would be the most eco-friendly and “greenest” ever, which is fine. Their plan to cut in half the carbon footprint of a “normal” Olympics was admirable — right up until the architects insisted that their non-AC, “energy-efficient geothermal cooling system” of water and pipes and wishes would keep the athletes’ rooms no warmer than 26 Celsius — which is a sultry 79 Fahrenheit in Indoor America.
To which the American coaches and athletes said, “NEG!”
The high temp in Paris during July and August averages 78. Child’s play for the American southerner, for sure. BUT …
We are a habit-driven people. I grew up in a two-story that had a window unit downstairs and a window that opened upstairs. Slept great. But once the world introduced us to central air, nighttime became a different ballgame.
In rural America, we got used to AC. Really fast.
Expand that rationale for the world-class athlete who has slept at a certain temperature nearly their whole lives in preparation for the Olympics, the most important “athletic days” of their lives. The “optimal bedroom sleep micro-environment” for the Team USA competitor, one of our team physiologists told yahoo!/sports, is 61-65 degrees.
So when the Paris mayor insisted Olympic Village athletes would be “very comfortable” at “no warmer than 79,” athletes from the USA, Canada, Italy, Brazil, Greece, Japan, Australia and the like said, “Comfortable compared to WHAT?”
So those countries have either brought their own portable air-conditioners or are renting ones the French organizers have made available. No one wanted to come off as a spoiled or ungrateful visitor: they just didn’t want to be sweating in their PJs on the eve of running the 100.
Many countries — Germany, Tonga, Samoa, plus the Swiss and French come to mind — don’t need or aren’t used to AC. They’re chill without it.
To each his own.
And that’s the point. We really are creatures of habit. Hey, the French gave us chocolate and perfume and the beret and fries. They meant no harm with the AC thing. But if the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre were in Kansas or Richmond or Shreveport, you can bet your last shred of Brie or Roquefort that they’d be air-conditioned. Set around 68, at the highest.
Have a great (and cool) Olympics!
(PS — the diff between the “pentathlon” and the “modern pentathlon”?; the modern one is air-conditioned.)
Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu